Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde – Of Male Psychology
Firstly, 3 cheers & a round of applause to all Indian men who have stood up and raised a voice, and are continuing to do so, against the hideous Delhi Gang-rape. It is men like these that will give women a safer world in years to come.
Away & far removed from gentlemen like these – is a special brand of men who believe that every calamity that occurs to a woman – the woman has brought it upon herself. In the esteemed thought process of such men – be it mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, humiliation, subordination, gender bias, violation, rape, gang-rape AND gang-rape with a brutal assault to pulverize the mind & body of a woman, and then throw her out of a moving bus to bleed to death (Delhi Gang-rape) – happens because the woman has acted, behaved and/or provoked such an abuse upon herself.
These are men who believe that they are sentinels of light-bringing truth, when they stand up and pass remarks like:-
- If a woman exposes her body, how can a man not be tempted?
- Ask women not to dress provocatively.
- If a woman goes to a pub, dances & drinks into wee hours of the morning, she is asking for rape.
- If a woman behaves in a manner that indicates that she is available, then don’t blame men if they force themselves on the woman. (As in – permission not required)
- What is this whole issue of marital-rape? Sex is part of marriage contract. If women don’t want sex, then why get married?
- A woman will be stripped & paraded naked if she chooses to marry outside of caste. We are doing this to protect the modesty of women. (UP/Bihar/Haryana Khaap Panchayat [a form of Rural Governance]. They are referring to the same `modesty’ that they are dragging naked on the streets. And the same `modesty’ they outrage when a daughter-in-law is forced to satisfy the sexual needs of her widowed father-in-law, because he cannot be seen having sex outside the home.)
- We are used to see you doing seductive dances on TV, now we have to take political advice from you? (Male Indian politician Sanjay Nirupam to female Indian politician Smriti Irani.)
- All these dented & painted women protesting at India Gate do not qualify as students. (Indian President Mr. Pranab Mukherjee’s son Abhijit Mukherjee commenting on the anti-rape agitation led by girl students of Delhi. Dented = shapely/good figure. Painted = cosmetic make-up.)
- She is a successful career woman. Which educated, successful man will want to marry her? Any man will want a woman who can look after his home & family. (On successful, career-oriented, single women.)
- The list is endless.
Incidentally these are the very same men:-
- Who pray to all forms of the Cosmic Female Energy – as depicted in India’s Mother Goddesses; and where the Female Cosmic Energy is shown as being equal, or even a tad superior to Her male counterpart.
- Who have perfect family pictures with mother, sisters, wife, daughters.
- Who are super-protective of mother, sisters, wife, daughters; and who talk & wish for safer havens & higher skies for their women.
Enough is enough. Can we stop this bull-shit, God-damned philosophy? Can we put an end to this sick-minded hypocrisy? Women are women. Period. Women are not objects. Period. A woman outside your home is as honorable as the woman inside your home. Period. If you are one of those male specimens who does not respect women even in his own home – then you are a virus, you need to be deleted from the system. Period.
Women are like this. Women are like that. Ok. Even if we accept your point of view for 1 nano-second, what stops men from NOT reacting? What stops men from evolving themselves from the primal-cave-man? You want to be “superior”? Then you have to “rise higher” from your “lower/base” instincts. You have to EVOLVE. Where & when did you fall so low?
Rewind to Biblical times. In the Garden of Eden – Eve tempted Adam with an apple. The proverbial apple. The temptation. The apple-of-temptation. Adam succumbed. And in the Bible that is EXACTLY what is documented – ADAM succumbed to temptation, and hence it was ADAM’s fault. Nowhere in Biblical texts is EVE ever blamed for Adam’s temptation.
Let us take a lesson from the Bible – a woman is not to be blamed for a man’s lack of strength-of-character. If men believe they are “superior” – and superior means “higher” – then let them show their “superiority” by “rising” “above” base emotions to a point of “elevation” in mind & body – where they refuse to be tempted. They are “above” temptation. They are “higher”. They are “evolved”. They are “superior”. Superiority is about “raising self” to a higher level – not “lowering another” to a level below you. The day men “rise” to this level, undoubtedly every woman will feel proud to accept men as the superior-half, the better-half, of the race. Period.
I heard a heart-rending piece of news recently in my social circle. News of an almost-broken marriage hanging together by a thread. Reason? The husband could not deal with the (supposed) infidelities of his wife – more so, because it happened with his closest friends. I would not like to comment on either the wife or the husband – there may be realities we do not know; every person is entitled to his/her personal truth and we must honor & respect that.
BUT what about the “friends”? What unacceptably base instinct can lead you to cross that sacred boundary line of friendship? I heard way back in my 20s, a church Father chiding a young man with these words: “Friend’s spouse & spouse’s friend are sacred space, my son. Always remember & respect that”.
It comes down to the same thing:-
- A monstrous physical assault of a group of men on a girl, who apparently “provoked” them to act that way: Delhi-Gang-Rape.
- Dating your friend’s spouse – a monstrous social assault on a woman, by crossing sacred lines, because the woman “took the initiative” and is “flirtatious”: Rape-Of-Trust.
I’m not being judgmental. I do not know all the facts. Either about the Delhi gang-rape or about the social-occurrence. But when a human soul (at a higher level), or a home (at a lower level) breaks & crumbles – then even if we have thrown 1 single pebble in mock-humor, we are GUILTY. Period.
Violation scars the soul for a lifetime. Violation from a place-of-trust scars the soul for many lifetimes.
Men must understand that there will always be boundary lines & sacred spaces in their interaction with women; whether at home or outside. Respect boundary lines. Honor sacred spaces. It makes you a better man. It shows you have strength of character. It shows you have evolved. It shows you are superior.